We will be gorgeous, you and I

Isn't it wonderful when you type someone an extensively long message...
And they reply with a one word response?

I have this wonderful pen sitting in front of me. It writes in this beautiful shade of pink. Oh, how I adore it. How I wish to write with it, but at school, you cannot write in any other color but black or blue. Life needs color, life needs inspiration. Life doesn't need rules and regulations pertaining to
color!

I'm tired.
I'm off.

I wish I had some wonderful heartfelt thing to say this time.
Something that I thought about forever, and am sharing with you to help stimulate thinking, but also, I have nothing.
I have some understandings about myself though.

I realized that I have control issues, as many of us might.
I realized that I cannot control my life, so I control as much as I can. You know?
I have to open my own doors. I feel like I have to do everything myself. I am very stubborn.
I think that i don't like people opening my doors because in the past no one has ever offered.
People have always been asses.
Always.

Also, when people say they will be here at ten to pick me up, and they are late. I freak until they get here. Or just, when they say they'll call. Or something. I freak out, no matter who it is.
That's it.
I can't stay focused on this blog, so I'm just going to publish it right now.

Who knows

I'm pretty much sick of people who are all "I'm shit! No one can save me. I'm committing suicide right now!"
They don't understand how other people view them or how much them not being there would hurt everyone. At the same time, I have love for these types of people, I want to help them, I want to cry with them, I want to fix them.
I know you can never fix anyone, but I really feel like I can. When people tell me that they feel like that, sometimes I just feel like crying for them. No one understands though, they say I cry too much.
Whatever, at least I am in touch with my feelings. Or maybe it's just the opposite. Maybe I'm not and I'm really hiding them. Who really knows?
Julian thinks he's got me all figured about, but he doesn't. No one does.
Not my best friend, not my youth pastor, not my parents.
I'm so exhausted. I never get enough sleep, and again, tonight, for the millionth time, I won't get enough sleep. I need to shower, I didn't even read from my Woll Reader.
I just had to let some of this out.
I really feel bad about thinking this, but usually, I feel like people say that they are depressed and going to commit suicide for attention. I know it's not like that in all cases, but sometimes the way they just drag it all out, it seems ridiculous.
If you were really going to do it, you'd do it, not tell everyone so that they'd know.
They don't have the guts most of the time.
I wouldn't blame them though, who knows what is on the other side of life? No one.
No one at all.
If you are thinking about it though, remember that it's not you that you're hurting, it's all the people that love you. That at one point cared about you, and maybe still do but are ignoring you to teach you a lesson.
Remember that there was a purpose for you to be on this earth, there was a significant other for you, there was a job, a family, a life, all for you.
All planned out.
And even if not, it's unchartered.
Explore it, make a new life for yourself.
Ending your life young is not right, wait until you become of age, and move out.
Then you can decide whether life is worth living.
There are reasons we are all put on this earth, reasons we are put in the situations we are put in, and reasons we know the people we know.
Think about it.
Think about what you say.
Think about how you act.
To the people who love you, to the people you encounter.
I bet you that you make some sort of difference in their lives.
If you died, who knows how they would feel.
Who knows who would have no life because of you.
No one.
Think about everything before doing it.
-Your blogger.

Homework is so exhausting.
I don't understand why teachers cannot coordinate to let you not be weighed down with so much to do in so little time.
Today we're on assembly schedule. How exciting!
Not.
It's about some stupid academic pep rally.
I dont' know about you, but I don't care.
Spring break is next week though. :3
At least we get to sleep in.
I'm going to do my work now.
-Sarah

Prom

So I asked "certain boy" to prom.
He said yes. <3
I am excited. Very.
I have shoes, a dress, and someone to go with. :)
What more could I ask for?

Daylight Savings

I forgot all about this dear old blog.
I will start blogging again.
I really need to.
blogs on Myspace get to be ridiculous and redundant.
I'm going to take a bath now, and go to bed.
Don't forget to set your clocks one hour ahead!