Today was really stressful and hard. I came home and just wanted to sit and cry, something I haven't done in a while. I took a nap this afternoon, and woke up out of it. Really just, not seeing too much brightness, so I went outside, sat in the rain, and prayed. I've been not dealing with some things, because I don't know if I'm ready yet, but really just don't know how to deal with it.

So sitting here, frustrated waiting for Janice to come home to talk to, I just decided to give my stress from today to God. Praying for myself which lead to praying for others; which made me realize how much I love people.

It is really dumb that I love some people so much it makes me cry, but like, when someone hurts and they just don't understand what's going on around them, and no one really listens, that makes me sad. Makes me wish my love is enough; but it never can be. They have to turn to God to find peace and understanding, but all humans long for love, and they just aren't getting what they need.

I really just want to love people, and make them not feel so alone. I want to fix everything, and I know I can't. So instead I think about how beautiful it will be when God comes in and fixes everything. When Jesus comes back and sets things right.

I just wanted to ramble in this one, because I really like to type, and I like to type when I think. I don't think and plan it out, then type, such as an essay. Man oh man, I love writing essays. No, I love finishing an essay and being proud of it. Yes. :) That feeling.

So what's up? Looking at apartment leases with Bryanda. Asking God to help in that instance. That's not where the stress came from though; it came from work, trying to help others, when I didn't need to. Learning by making mistakes. :) Yep. Good lessons, but they tire me out!

Goodnight, goodnight.

Sarahnade