I will tell of Your wonders!

Hey guys!

Tons has happened since my last blog!

Wanted to say that life is pretty difficult sometimes, and God is a master convictor. Only because He loves us.

I'm really excited about everything right now. It's terrifying, and worrisome, but I see His hand.

Tonight, my step mom asked me if she could one day go to church with me. I was like "hell yeah, come this Sunday!"

In different words of course, but it made me so dang happy to hear! He gives and takes away. Something falls, and another is gained.

I'm going through Living Waters these next couple months, until March, and I'd really love some prayers. :) Just for courage and strength. It's going to be really hard. And I'm going to have to learn to face this all with no one else by my side but God. and it's going to be an uphill battle, it is already. But it's so good for me. It's like... I'm having to discipline myself to listen to Him and to be open to hear Him. Even when He is convicting me and I don't want to hear it.

I've never had God do this for me, and it makes me feel so loved.

I just wanted to write because I stopped Facebook. I can't do it. It's too social.... it's too... I can't think of a word. it's very immature. Lots of gossip. You know? I just need an outlet.

Once someone gave me a book to read called "Finding the Love of Your Life" a Christian date help book, and really, I think a devotional would be good.

I kind of want to write a book about the Journey I am now on. Maybe not now, but I need to have proper documentation of my thought process and all, you know? :)

Anyway, it's getting pretty late, and I left my glasses at work.

Just keepin' ya updated! :D

God is good.

Sarah

Today was really stressful and hard. I came home and just wanted to sit and cry, something I haven't done in a while. I took a nap this afternoon, and woke up out of it. Really just, not seeing too much brightness, so I went outside, sat in the rain, and prayed. I've been not dealing with some things, because I don't know if I'm ready yet, but really just don't know how to deal with it.

So sitting here, frustrated waiting for Janice to come home to talk to, I just decided to give my stress from today to God. Praying for myself which lead to praying for others; which made me realize how much I love people.

It is really dumb that I love some people so much it makes me cry, but like, when someone hurts and they just don't understand what's going on around them, and no one really listens, that makes me sad. Makes me wish my love is enough; but it never can be. They have to turn to God to find peace and understanding, but all humans long for love, and they just aren't getting what they need.

I really just want to love people, and make them not feel so alone. I want to fix everything, and I know I can't. So instead I think about how beautiful it will be when God comes in and fixes everything. When Jesus comes back and sets things right.

I just wanted to ramble in this one, because I really like to type, and I like to type when I think. I don't think and plan it out, then type, such as an essay. Man oh man, I love writing essays. No, I love finishing an essay and being proud of it. Yes. :) That feeling.

So what's up? Looking at apartment leases with Bryanda. Asking God to help in that instance. That's not where the stress came from though; it came from work, trying to help others, when I didn't need to. Learning by making mistakes. :) Yep. Good lessons, but they tire me out!

Goodnight, goodnight.

Sarahnade

Nothing too profound this time...

I have been thinking about what to blog about this time, but nothing super impeccable comes to mind. I have much going on with my life, but I'm not ready to publicise it yet; not yet. I've shared with many a people, but not so much the world!

Anway, everything God is doing in my life is centered around that one thing I'm not ready to share yet, but I wanted you to know that I am alive and awaiting inspiration from the Lord to guide me in what to write! :D

I recently bought a Women of Destiny Bible, and it is... phenomenal. I love reading it, it has little breaks in it that show you how verses relate to God establishing us as women. It also tells stories of the women in the bible as they appear. All in all, I've started with Genesis and I cannot even begin to describe how entralled I am with the stories that I've been reading. I haven't gotten all too far, but I read before bed, and I just lose track of time and never want to stop reading! I'm loving it. :)

I hope all is going well for you guys out in blogspot land! May God bless you and fill you up everyday until we meet again!

With love,

Sarahnade

My thoughts on a difficult subject...

¹⁸ For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, ¹⁹ because what may be known of God is manifest in them, for God has shown it to them. ²⁰ For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse, ²¹ because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened. ²² Professing to be wise, they became fools, ²³ and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man—and birds and four-footed animals and creeping things. 
²⁴ Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves, ²⁵who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen. 
²⁶ For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature.²⁷ Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.  (Romans 1:18-27)

Why do I quote Romans? Because I have been probed for my opinions on life views. "Why do you agree with gay marriage?!" "Why Legalize these types of abominations?"  So many times in my life have I been asked that question, both of them; along with "How could you possibly call yourself a follower of Christ and not protest such heinous acts?"  Well, here's my thing, I know that God gave us free will, out of love for us.  Everything always stems so much deeper than just a simple simple answer, so here we go into understanding what love is. Are you ready? This is going to be a long, long blog post- maybe even two.

Alright, so love, is the willingness to give up ones life for someone of some thing.  In such context, God is love, as stated in John.  God loves us. He loved us so much He gave His only son for us- He paid the ultimate sacrifice.  God also loved (And loves) us so much that He gave (and gives) us free will- and He does not interfere with that freewill because He loves us.  Am I right? I mean, what kind of love would be controlling?  It's not. God loves us so much that He lets us decide not to come to Him.  It does break His heart, but he stands by and watches us fall, and make mistakes, and hurt other people because He loves us too much to force us to love him.  Love isn't love when it is forced. Love is only love when it is willing, and carefull. (with two L's because it is full-of-care.)

Now knowing the basics of God's love, you can understand that He because of His love for us, he lets us choose- the only way we can learn is by making mistakes and experiencing the bad before we can know the good- such as a child learning what hot means.  In Romans, Paul states that God gave the people over to their lust for one another.  In essence, because He loved them so powerfully, He let them pervert the world with ungodly sex and immorality.  God let them.  This is my main point here, God let them because He loved them.  Therefore, are we not called to live like Jesus-  to socialize with the prostitues, homeless, lepers, untouchables?  To love everyone as ourselves? 

Therefore, as a living Christ ourselves, shouldn't we- as God does, let people do what they want.  Trying to limit what people can do is like saying that we are bigger than God.  On of the greatest commandments is to love thy neighbor as thyself, correct?  So then why are we trying to tell couples of the same sex that they cannot get married?  I'm sure that God is letting them, is He not?  If God gives people over to their lustful nature, why shouldn't we?  This goes along with everything though, abortion being one of the other options that people try and take away from others.  It is not our place, sure you say that it's not a woman's choice- but in actually, it's not yours. 

Living like Jesus, is loving like Jesus.  It's letting people make mistakes and hurt themselves. (And sometimes others.)  I don't know how else to better explain this, but in my mind, the logic of God letting us have relations with same sex in the bible because of freewill, then us in turn letting people in our age partake in the same actions, works!  It all makes sense to me that if we are to live like Christ, we should not limit and interfere with other people's decision to sin.  They do know what God says about everything they do.  All we can and should to is pray, and bring it to their attention; but never, ever should we ban something that God would never do.

Freewill is love- and love, is giving and sacrifice. (Which can often mean sacrifice of comfort.)

Hope this made sense,

blogger'd

Finally, some thought-provoking substance:

A few weeks ago I was very troubled about my past. Not all of it of course, but the little bits and pieces that effect my relationship with Christ.

Upon reading this verse in Matthew, "³²Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come." (Matthew 12:32)  I became overwhelmed with the fear that I was not good enough for the love of Christ.  That I had in some form of disbelief from my childhood, ruined any chance I had in being in relationship with Christ.

I was absolutely terrified that I was going to be left high and dry because of what I had unknowingly committed as an unbeliever.  Who was I to say what I did and did not say or think when I was away from God?  I had no recollection of ever spiting the Holy Spirit, but I had betrayed Jesus before, I had been Peter and denied him many times.  What redemption could come of such a thing?  God forgives all, he loves all.  I always fought for the belief of an all loving God who loves and accepts us passed our fallacies and our stubbornness; but what type of reading had I done to have missed this crucial piece of information?

How could an all-loving God not forgive someone who does not know?  But of course that is Justified in Romans as Paul says that every human knows of God, not one is innocent when it comes to the knowledge of Christ and God's all-consuming glory.  Paul wrote, "¹⁸ For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, ¹⁹ because what may be known of God is manifest in them, for God has shown it to them. ²⁰ For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse..." (Romans 1:18-20)  All who live, breathe, and walk are knowledgeable of God's glory.  His creation is all-encompassing and self-evident.  Therefore none can claim that they know not.  

Therefore, I was at fault for anything I had ever done, was I not? So, confused as I was about how God could not love me for such a sin I had committed, knowing but not understanding, I decided to write about it.  I was writing in my "Love" notebook, (In which the Love is Agape and all about my Love for and from the Father.)  I was pouring out my heart to god in my written word, about how lost I was in the words that so harshly came from my Saviour's mouth-- when suddenly I came to the realization that I needed to calm down and not worry about what God was going to do.  God has his own plans and his own time, but more importantly, God has me in his hands.  I've felt God, I've known his presence many a time- and yet I was fretting about his denial of me.  How could God, an All-loving creator, who gave His only son for me, hold me and still deny me?  It made no sense.  God showed me how absolutely ludicrous I was being by giving me a huge "duh!" moment.

Jesus said not to worry throughout all of Matthew six. Do not worry- what a statement.  I never even got to finish writing how I felt on the subject because God interceded so quickly. (After weeks of prayer.)  If I had felt the life of God, the wonder and awe of His presence in my life, how could I even begin to feel that he would abandon me? If He was going to, and if I had blasphemed against the spirit in my past and was unforgivable, wouldn't He have never shown himself to me?  Wouldn't he not be so prominent in my life right now? 

I questioned myself for my stupidity, and I thanked God profusely for loving me past my unnecessary freak outs.  He worked so quickly, and in a way that made me realize so much about myself, and life.

God is Good.

blogger'd

Welcome back oh one of little faith-

Hey~o
It's been quite a long time since my last blog, it's been a year!
How far we can progress in a year in quite an amazing ability we have. God is good, God grows us quickly. Life has, flip-turned upside-down. (If I may use that quote.) More information to come.
More thoughts to post about life in general, but until then, I really need to get some sleep. It is two-eighteen, and I have a dentist appointment in the morning.
Fare thee well,
Blogger'd.